What is the feminine equivalent of bromance

Friendship between men: Gentlemen against the 5 Bromance Myths

Asterix & Obelix, Frodo and Sam (Lord of the Rings), Son-Goku and Vegeta (Dragonball), Schiller and Goethe ... the history books and films are full of it: deep friendship between men. They are considered inseparable and supposedly last a lifetime. What is it about the best friend myth?

In this post you will find:

Male friendship in transition

Well-groomed male friendships have existed for a very long time. Mann met in the gentleman's club or deepened his ties as business partners. But that was never trumpeted or displayed in a grand way.

Today nothing works without a brofist (fist greeting). Male friendships are lived openly and the solidarity is presented to the public. Numerous sayings want to quickly make it clear that two good buddies are on the way here.

"Brothers from different mothers."

Brothers from different mothers.

Bromance expresses a deep bond and strong friendship. However, this close friendship with one's best friend is also tainted with common prejudices. Not just for our own office - we finally want to clean it up:

The 5 myths of male friendship

1. Male friendship is more important than relationship

Many men assume that their friendship with men is more important to them than their relationship. “Friends before relationship” doesn't sound like a bad motto for the first time.

In fact, a survey by Elite Partner suggests that 70% of respondents consider a relationship to be particularly desirable. The desire for a deep friendship ranks closely behind with 60%.

Unfortunately, the survey does not differentiate between men and women. But it is an indication that friendship between men is at least not overrated.

"Brother before bitch !?"

slang expression

Sure, the saying wants to provoke. But what is it about? Thanks to pink glasses, at the beginning of a relationship it is usually difficult to judge whether you are dealing with an angel or the devil himself. So be careful before you ignore all friendships and just concentrate on your new flame.

In fact, at the beginning of the relationship, a mutual competition for your available time sparked. Your new girlfriend and best friend could be competing for your attention. (a similar case as with the mother-in-law)

In our opinion, it should be possible to regard relationships, friendship and family as equally important. Make it clear to each party that coexistence must be possible.

2. Male friendship bad for the relationship

Aside from the struggle for time and attention, women are critical of male friendships. But why?

Our guess: she fears that you tell your colleagues more than you tell. After all, you want to be well received by your girlfriend and usually don't tell about the depths of your thoughts.

Example:

  • Would you tell your girlfriend about the dream you had with your hot neighbor?
  • Or that the waitress almost bursts her blouse thanks to the generous bust size?
  • What about the fact that your work colleague is into you?
  • Anyway, how often did you throw up in the excessive party last night?

It is up to you to clear or substantiate their fear of “secrets” from the world.

Apart from that, mutual friends enrich the relationship. Especially when you do things together and meet regularly.

exception: The Brocode (male code of honor) is not observed. As a curious statistic from ElitePartner shows that 18% of relationships break up in the first year because the partner falls in love with a colleague from their circle of friends.

3. Bromance is good for health

Yes, this myth also persists. Two popular scientific articles from a sports institute (to be found here and here) claim that bromance can be good for your health. Another study headlines that male friendships are emotionally just as satisfying as relationships. However, we do not consider the methodology and scope of these investigations to be entirely meaningful. 30 participants and qualitative interviews (surveys) do not lead to a precise statement.

So bromance seems to be uncharted scientific territory. Meanwhile we claim Spending time with good friends is balm for the soul. It is the time when you can be completely yourself. We can't prove that directly, but we recommend that you take care of your friendships including bromance (and enjoy them).

4. Fear of being considered gay

An eternal cliché: If two men understand each other, the association with homosexuality is not far away. Why actually?

The stronger the emotional ties between women become, the more inseparable their friendship becomes. Physical contact does not seem to be a problem socially. In terms of equality, shouldn't a male friendship be viewed in a similar way?

If two men are close, it can give some people the wrong impression. But the attitude of society is changing. Throw your fears overboard and don't care about the opinions of others.

In fact, only in exceptional cases is there a sexual intention behind a male friendship. That is why WYSIATI applies! (What you see, is all there is.)

5. Male friendships last forever

Leading roles from film and television set an example, inseparable friendships until death. But is there a statistic that confirms this for real life?

At least one study claims to have found that men up to the age of 30 have more social contacts than women. From this age on the statistics turn and women seem to have the more intense friendships.

On the one hand, the study “only” collects counted calls from 2007 and, on the other hand, it leaves room for speculation.

  • Do men focus on fewer but good friends in old age?
  • Or do men in old age simply communicate less by phone and maybe meet more often in person?
  • Do women maintain fewer friendships but more intensive ones from the start? (What more for "Women's friendships last forever" speaks.)

In the past it may have been the case that women moved into their husbands village and lost contact with friends from their childhood days. Today friendships can be cultivated around the globe. In our opinion, therefore, differences between men and women cannot be identified.

If we had to give one reason why male friendships last longer than their female counterparts, it would be the type of communication.

While women tend to listen to the emotional level in conversations, men think in a solution-oriented manner and communicate on the factual level.

Men address disagreements more often and problems are therefore resolved relatively quickly. Women, on the other hand, are less direct criticism. They tend to either downplay disputes or get behind their backs.

We are of course always open to counter arguments!

Off Topic: Make friendship with men

Are you still looking for the real bromance? Building a good friendship with men is basically the same as with any other friendship:

Honestly? We saw friends come and go. Don't put yourself under pressure. Are you interested in other people, do not shy away from contact, do not be an exaggerated know-it-all and the rest will take care of itself.

Is your partner's friendship burdening you or your relationship?

What to do with your partner's best friend? One thing must be clear, in the women's world there is of course an equivalent to bromance. Just to mention a few:

Bestie, BFF, Soul Sister, Sisterhood, Womance ...

In our opinion, the main problem is jealousy and mistrust. In addition, many men are not used to just doing something alone. They are simply used to the woman circling around them.

Therefore, you shouldn't see your girlfriend's BFF as a competitor, but as an extension of your circle of friends. Try to be interested in the BFF as well. It doesn't always work, but we definitely recommend it no relationship without mutual friends to build up.

TIP - Integrate your girlfriend into your circle of friends

In our case, my partner and my bro are also very good friends. There is mutual trust and understanding and there is always a relaxed, pleasant atmosphere.

In general, we recommend introducing both groups of friends to one another and, if possible, combining them. At the beginning of the relationship, throw a party and generously invite all friends. If that doesn't work, that's not a big deal either. But at least you've tried it.

Finally: Do you look after female friends despite being in a relationship? Or are your male friends bothering you?

The type and intensity of friendship can certainly be discussed, but never ask that she give up her friends. You wouldn't want to if she asked for the same!

IMPORTANT: Never - and we never mean - let your friends be recklessly displaced by a new flame!

Now we want to know from you: How do you maintain your friendship with men? How do you feel about bromance? What prejudices do you have to contend with?



Your opinion is important to us!