Why do flying monkeys believe the narcissist
Flying Monkeys - who are they anyway?
Flying monkeys, also known as flying monkeys, is a term that keeps appearing in connection with narcissism. Who or what are they actually, these flying monkeys? Are these fans, admirers, real friends? Do you criticize or question something? What annoys me is that in the meantime, at least on the Internet, anyone who doesn't just take everything is referred to as a Flying Monkey by someone. And what continues to annoy me is that it is so often said that these are just "fans" or "admirers".
Fans and admirers
Sure, there are, otherwise no band, no actor, no series, no book, no author, simply no one who goes public in any form would have a chance. Those who create something and make it available to the world naturally have enough enemies and adversaries. With a lot of luck also fans and / or admirers. So a fan is after every snippet that is written about his idol in the press, will know every song by heart, will have seen every film. But fans do not accept everything uncritically, on the contrary. Your idol is your idol as long as a fan can think he / she is great. In other words, it may well happen that the idol at some point says or does something that the fan does not like - and then interest may ebb. Quite spontaneously, I can think of quite a few actors who have had negative reviews in the press, who have been morally questioned by excessive alcohol or drugs. You've definitely lost a lot of fans. Fans don't just accept everything and defend blindly. If we relate that to narcissism, it is the same. Flying monkeys have a motif. And that's not just being a fan and has nothing to do with sympathy.
Flying monkeys are often just manipulated people
In one way or another. Normally, flying monkeys are actually the people a narcissist sends out to enforce and defend their needs and desires. However, as a rule, they do not do this blindly, but rather in good faith. They stand up for what they believe is right. For someone they consider to be of great integrity. You defend this cause or this person on all sides, while the "idol" stays in the background and agitates and manipulates. How does he do it? Or you? Sure, the flying monkeys have to be kept in line, that is, they have to remain convinced. Narcissists behave very nicely towards their flying monkeys, prefer them, fondle them, draw their attention to unpleasant opponents or ... manipulate them to put in a good word for them where they want to score.
A good example of a Flying Monkey is, for example, the best friend with whom a “ex-boyfriend” sits and howls, explaining to her the best of his intentions, of course, that he had with his girlfriend. If she no longer wants to listen, this is a popular route. If the ex cannot make it clear to his exes that he wants to change and has seen all his mistakes, then he tearfully assures her best friend and if he does it really well, the following happens: The best friend makes her friend realize that she might take back her ex-girlfriend after all, give him a chance, because ... oh dear, he is really serious and is "totally exhausted". Your best friend becomes a Flying Monkey, but seriously: You can't be angry with her for that. She acts in good faith. The guy just won over her. Men, don't be angry, the daffodils are there too, of course, that works for women who use their ex's best friend as a wailing wall. Flying monkeys are often people who have been manipulated in some way and therefore act in the interests of the manipulator.
It becomes difficult when one's opinion changes
A flying monkey is only in very rare exceptional cases someone who, against their better judgment, advocates something that is actually wrong. It is more like people who are concerned about justice or well-being, people who often have very one-sided information, but who often don't even know it. It becomes difficult when new information suddenly emerges and the situation can be examined again from completely different angles. And then at the latest in a thinking person (which most are sure) the opinion of the state of affairs may change. At the latest then one is no longer ready to defend or fight for the good of the other, to stand up for him or her. Conclusion: Thinking people are then very often rejected, defamed, insulted by their idol, but in any case removed from their personal environment. Dropped. Everyone can find out at some point that they have acted as a flying monkey without wanting to.
Has this never happened to you?
I do. I stand by that. I have already campaigned for things that at some point I could no longer approve of when I received new information. As a very young woman, I once made the mistake of believing my best friend's ex-boyfriend when he howled at me and assured me that he deeply regrets everything and would love to change if she only gave him a chance if ... of course I stood up for him with my girlfriend - and I have bitterly regretted it. The older you get, the more experienced you deal with these things because it actually happens all the time and everywhere.
How to know if you should be made a Flying Monkey!
It is fair to say that you are being used coldly. You should make yourself strong for or against something or someone, you get some information in return, but that you should make yourself strong at all is a message that is conveyed very subtly. Actually, you are not asked to do so, but you have the inner urge to help, to protect, to defend, according to the information that is available to you. So before you step into the breach for a thing or a person, you should consider carefully whether there aren't other versions of these truths that have been brought closer to you. If the child has already fallen into the well, there is one characteristic that will tell you that you have been used: you will be expelled from the circle of confidants. If you also dare to criticize and question things, you will be defamed and declared persona non grata when things go really bad. You are being dropped and in such a way that you no longer understand the world.
Not every defender is a flying monkey
They still exist, the people who get upset when they notice that something or someone is being attacked. If that were not the case, all victims of bullying would, for example, stand alone. Bullying is a good example, because if you, as an outsider, have even some sense of justice, and you realize that someone is being messed up, you actually have almost a sacred duty to show solidarity in some form. These people are then often portrayed and referred to as flying monkeys. Well ... every person has to decide for himself whether he is committed to a cause or a person. The fact is, there are always things that will test our sense of justice, and likewise there will always be people who do. Then we act.
Real and fake flying monkeys
We have just discussed the fake Flying Monkeys sufficiently. These people have been manipulated. This can happen to anyone, there is no malice behind it, just the desire to help, to support or not to accept unjust things in silence.
Real Flying Monkeys, on the other hand, are endowed with a certain maliciousness and pursue a common goal together with their idol, maybe even have their own motives for it. Real Flying Monkeys know that they are being used, or at least they suspect it, but they accept it because it suits them. Real Flying Monkeys also know that they act morally reprehensible, legally questionable and usually even absolutely insidious. But they do it anyway because they can get revenge or actually achieve their own goals with it. A fan will always come to a point at some point, maybe even more often, when he / she questions morally what is actually happening - and changes his / her mind if necessary. A real Flying Monkey, on the other hand, knows that it is doing injustice - and still does it, sustainably, and accepts that it will harm others.
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