How heartbreaking was your breakup

To be abandoned process - this is how the separation hurts the least

Processing a breakup is never easy. But there is a hard way and a very hard way to come to terms with being abandoned. We'll show you how you can make your life as easy as possible and how you can emerge stronger from the situation.

In this article you will learn:

  • What the very hard way in processing the leaving looks like
  • What are the typical mistakes when processing a separation
  • Which way of processing is the least hard
Bonus: Are you lovesick? Can't you think clearly anymore? Are your days mostly sad? Do you want happiness and positivity in your life again? Now click the button below and get our exclusive free strategies and techniques and get rid of your heartache once and for all!

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The very hard way to deal with a breakup

First the bad news: Your heart is a bad advisor when you break up. Just as fast food tastes particularly good because it is unhealthy, so when you process abandonment, what is supposed to be good for you is bad.

Here are some examples:

Look at photos of you and your ex

"Oh, how nice it was when we ...". Such sentences often come up after a breakup. But they harm you because they paint an unrealistic picture of your relationship.

Because obviously not everything was nice, otherwise the relationship wouldn't have broken up. Therefore, don't look at photos of your relationship after a breakup. They are incomplete because they only show positive things. Or did you take a picture of your first argument or of the pieces of clothing scattered around the room that always got on your nerves?

You don't do that. And if you can't keep in mind the bad things about your relationship, then you shouldn't always remember the good things either.

Listen to love songs in a loop

A radio presenter with lovesickness once let Silbermond's “The Best” play on the radio in a continuous loop in order to win back his ex. What was meant as a nice gesture was not well received by either the audience or the broadcaster's boss.

The moderator was on leave until he recovered. You see: Romantic music is supposedly good for you, but it doesn't get you any further in dealing with being abandoned.

You always stay trapped in your own thoughts and you cannot distract yourself. Sad songs only make you sadder and happy songs instill a "It could be so nice" feeling.

So leave out love songs altogether for a while and only listen to songs on topics that have nothing to do with relationships.

Visit places where you were happy

Taking a partner to your favorite places is dangerous. If the relationship fails, these places are poisoned by his presence.

When the relationship is over, the first thing you should do is avoid any places you've been particularly happy. This includes the location of your first date, restaurants where you celebrated an anniversary, or events you went to together.

Typical errors on exiting will process

There are a number of typical mistakes people make when trying to get over an ex-partner. Here are the four worst:

  • Jump straight into a new relationship
  • Seeking meaningless sex
  • Stuffing sweets into yourself
  • Hide at home and hide from the world

Entering a new relationship when you haven't processed the old one is unfair to your new partner and yourself. Meaningless sex may make you feel happy for the moment, but it leaves you with shame and disgust later.

The same goes for sweets, which also make you fat and are unhealthy. And when you hide from the world, you always stay in the cycle of missing and don't get to know any nice, new things.

The least hard way

We cannot offer you an easy way to get over your partner. The separation hurts least with the following four points:

Meet up with friends

Friends are of great help in processing the abandonment. With them you will have a great time and see that life is good.

One important rule: Your ex is taboo when meeting friends. You can talk about anything but not about your past relationship.

For this it is important that you choose neutral places and events to meet where you and your ex were not together.

Follow your hobbies

Hobbies are usually something we do for ourselves and rarely share with our partner. They are a kind of retreat that belongs entirely to us. That's why hobbies are a great way to process a breakup.

You are focused on one task and achieve a clearly recognizable result. A hobby distracts you from your longing and lets you finally experience happiness and joy again.

Do things that had no place in your relationship

You love to go dancing but your ex didn't feel like it? You like going to the stadium for your life, but your ex was against it?

Finally you don't have to be considerate anymore. Now is the time to do all the things that were impossible in your relationship. This has several advantages:

  • You do things that you enjoy
  • You can see that you can do well without your ex
  • You can see what you've missed out on because of the relationship

Prove to yourself what you are worth

You are a precious and lovable person. That you have been abandoned doesn't change that. After the breakup, prove to yourself that you deserve only the best.

Treat yourself to a vacation, a massage or a new smartphone. Don't blame yourself for the failure of the relationship, tell yourself that it is your ex who is losing something.

The better you build your self-esteem, the better you will deal with the abandonment.

Conclusion: - A clear cut helps to process the abandonment

If you are going to handle the abandonment, you need a real cut. As long as you keep reminding yourself and wanting to go back, you won't get anywhere. So look ahead and do the very things you couldn't do with your ex.

The more you find yourself, the easier it is to get away from your ex. We hope that with our tips you can process your past relationship well.

You are welcome to write us in the comments how the process of leaving will (has) worked for you.

Our cooperation partner Prof. Dr. Ludwig Schindler works as a couple counselor, psychotherapist, supervisor and coach in his own practice in Munich. Schindler is the author of numerous specialist publications and is one of the leading experts in couples therapy in German-speaking countries. He is the scientific director of the interactive online program PaarBalance.de