Why do I feel disgusting after school?

I feel extremely uncomfortable in my skin right now

Hey guys,

I have to talk a little bit off my mind.

For a few weeks now I have been feeling extremely ugly, unattractive, disgusting and would love to hide. I'm just lying in bed, feeling listless and as soon as I leave the apartment, I have a strong urge to go home again. I don't want to be seen like that. I just feel uncomfortable in my skin.

Yesterday I got a real shock when I got on the scale and it showed 10 kg more than 2 months ago. How did I manage to gain 10 kg, please? Now I feel even more unattractive and disgusting. I now make sure to eat better and lose weight again and hope that I will feel better afterwards. But it's not just the weight. I don't like my face either. I put on make-up and still feel ugly. Then I remove my make-up again. I look at the whole picture in the mirror for a moment, feel so uncomfortable that I have absolutely no desire to do anything anymore and just go back to my bed and bury myself under a blanket.

I haven't been to school all week because I feel so weak and unhealthy and unsatisfied with myself. Earlier, I also discovered a bad, really disgusting rash on my back that just came out of nowhere. Like I don't feel ugly enough already. I just don't know what to do with myself I lose my desire in everything and I can't get myself up to anything. I feel bad because I'm so unproductive. I feel unhealthy. I feel weak.

Do you have any tips for me on how I can feel better again? It is so unbearable to be me right now.