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Parry embarrassments: Get out of the fat bowl

There are people who don't care embarrassing. Lucky ones! Others like them to stumble through life completely free of style and pain Make your face blush with shame, but they themselves do not notice anything. Another interesting one Phenomenon of embarrassment: Being embarrassed is contagious. The ProSieben cult series Stromberg has made impressive use of this effect and at the same time coined a new expression: that Second hand embarrassment. And indeed: anyone who makes a derailed situation even worse forces us to do so Feelings of shame on…

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Oops, embarrassing! Embarrassing situations in everyday life

But how embarrassing is something really?

First of all, we just find embarrassing about what is socially undesirable. The Limits here are culturally and individually different, but there is an astonishingly large number of common denominators.

Also in Everyday work. Include here Bankruptcies, bad luck and mishaps actually about the job. In any case, they cannot be avoided entirely, they just happen.

With experts here between two steps distinguish:

  1. embarrassment

    If a stupid thing happens to you and nobody notices it, we will be embarrassed. But mostly only for a short time.

  2. shame

    If, on the other hand, there are witnesses for the misstep, feelings of shame automatically set in. Something went wrong - but everyone noticed. Embarrassing!, think or say now the others, and one is ashamed of oneself, but more for the exposure than for the weakness as in the first case.

The office microcosm is not lacking in examples of involuntary comedy, provoked ridicule and unplanned revelations. The very thought of it makes some shudder.

Unexpectedly, a colleague smiles at them and garnishes their teeth whitening Leftover chives from the breakfast sandwich. The phone rings, it's a good customer, and because you know what social skills sounds like, you greet them fervently with: "Oh, it's you! I recognized your voice right away, how is your daughter, who, uh, yes ... what was her name? "

Not to forget the information from colleagues who are more Revealing delicacies of oneself than you actually want to know. “The other day he came fresh from the operation. Artificial anus. Thank you very much - my hunger was a thing of the past ", sing "The Doctors" cynically.

Apparently there is embarrassing situationsin which everything is already too late.

  • You notice them in the middle of the presentation Determination of your zipper, which at the same time exposes the motif underwear.
  • Or you stumble with the mountain of files straight into the boss's coffee cup.
  • Or sink the red wine into the trouser suit of the date during a business lunch. Their reaction: raised eyebrows, questioning looks, derailed corners of the mouth.

Unpleasant, that. And only rarely do we succeed deal with it confidently.

Not a few stammer, stutter and then go around worse than Faust with poor Gretchen. Their faces take on the color of cooked crabs - and that's exactly how they feel: hot and miserable.

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10 embarrassing situations at work

They fall into this category embarrassing situations the following list, which most people should immediately blush and would like to sink into the ground in shame ...

  • Laugh broadly, but still have half a salad plate between your teeth.
  • Fart audibly in the meeting.
  • Gossip about a colleague while he is behind you.
  • Coming from the toilet and not realizing that the skirt is jammed in the slip or toilet paper in the waistband.
  • Tell a joke that nobody finds funny.
  • Want to garnish your statement with a clever foreign word, but use the wrong one.
  • Think of the new boss as their secretary.
  • Hold a presentation - but with the fly open.
  • Get stuck in the toilet because there is no toilet paper.
  • Strut through the office with the new high heels, bend and fall lengthways.

Mastering embarrassing situations: Bye bye fat bowl!

But what if it happened? The more robust characters smile such moments just gone. Skillful!

The majority, however, rarely succeed in doing so sovereign to deal with.

They then try to mimic a serene coolness or lapse into excessive hectic and see-through protections. But that usually only makes such embarrassments worse ...

Incidentally, this also applies to the reverse case of a wrong helper: the sentence "You don't have to be embarrassed!" in no way defuses the situation. At least now the faux pas is official and everyone gets to know it. Thank you!

According to estimates, one in ten people in Germany suffers from it Gelotophobia. This is what psychologists call people who are constantly afraid of being laughed at by others. For these pitiful contemporaries, the chuckle of passers-by is enough to relate it to themselves.

To make it short: Um dealing with and mastering embarrassing situations, there are only three correct responses:

  1. Breathe

    No, don't say anything for now. Not even if your counterpart is still raging because you snubbed him. Each justification increases the embarrassment and escalates the situation.

    With a moment of concerned silence, you win sovereignty back. Even if you've been stupid, please don't make comments on the clown - excessive self-irony will only make you look like a joke.

    Sure that To endure silence, can be an everlasting ordeal. But now it's time to let the first wave of shame subside.

  2. Relax

    Did you know that blushthat many are so afraid of, has already reached its climax after 15 seconds? And maybe no one even cares.

    Spotlight effect is the name of the phenomenon in technical jargon, according to which we regularly our Overestimate the effect on others.

    But it gets even better: Elliot Aronson, an American psychologist and professor emeritus at the University of California in Santa Cruz, has dealt mainly with so-called cognitive dissonances employed. Aronson is something of a legend among psychologists, as are his experiments.

    He once played tapes to his test subjects on which different people answered quiz questions. Occasionally they could clearly be heard spilling a mug of coffee. Result: Whoever suffered this mishap was unanimously recognized by the test subjects rated more sympathetic - but only if he answered many of the questions correctly.

    On the other hand, those who failed the quiz and, to top it all, threw their cup down, fell significantly behind in the assessment. Aronson concluded from this that the attractiveness of a person assessed as competent increases when they are one small bug revealed. He baptized this phenomenon Pratfall effect (engl. Pratfall Effect - Pratfall means something like "flop").

  3. Make amends

    Okay, you screwed up or looked really stupid. Now the Mark cool, looks pretty hardy.

    If, however, you have duped someone, for example a colleague whom you have audibly ripped off, please apologize immediately. And offer - depending on the situation - Making amends to: You poured wine over the pants of your table neighbor? Then you offer to pay for the cleaning.

    It is important not to justify yourself or to impose conditions. You don't want to buy yourself out, you want to buy yourself out Compensate for damage.

Process and forget embarrassing situations

In the end it is like this: Nobody likes colleagues who are perfect. Flawlessness at best is granted to gods. On the other hand, it looks fabulous on people, but literally.

And who his flawlessness flaunting too obviously only stirs up Feelings of inferiority, Envy and intrigue.

Perfection is anything but perfect.

The beautiful bon mot comes from Henry Ford:

Mistakes are a wonderful opportunity to start over - only smarter.

Of course, learning success is often achieved by Conditions of violent stumbling, Fooling around and free fall. You dare to do something, build something, invent a product or start a project - and the reaction to it: the customers hate it, the family shakes their head and the boss throws you out.

This is how it sometimes works when dreams first become realities before they turn into Foams and shame dissolve.

And then? Get up, adjust the crown, carry on!

Like Henry Ford: He doesn't look back, not even the present, but ahead. Even more: he is not ashamed of his mistakes, but understands them as important stagewithout which he would never get any further.

Many cannot. They only focus on the bad, the shame and shame: I did something wrong, I'm not good enough. I can't do anything right ...Shame can paralyze soulseven destroy it. The poet Margery Eldredge Howell once wrote:

There is great sublimity in suffering and nobility in enduring pain, but failure is like a salted wound that burns and burns.

Quite a few people panic when they see one, for example Bug on the internet have made: Oh dear, my good reputation! Millions look at me now and see my mistake! All nonsense. Some mistakes are not worth mentioning, and for others, a simple apology is enough. Finished.

The fact is, everyone makes mistakes. Most notably the nelsons of this worldwho always like to point their fingers at the mistakes of others, shout “Ha-ha!” and get in touch with someone Fucking weather storm rise to become a cloud maker on the web.

Unfortunately, many people have still not realized that it is not guilt that makes the world a better planet, but rather forgiveness.

Yes, some have flaws Consequences. Even those that really hurt and resonate for a long time. Nevertheless, learn from it and be more gracious in the future - with others, but above all with yourself.

See that embarrassment So calmly from a different perspective: Anyone who has a clear craze for perfection sees the world only in black and white.

It is particularly easy to learn and grow in the gray areas where minor defects thrive. Mistakes are opportunities to learn. And it is often our mistakes that teach us the best lessons.

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[Photo credit: Antonio Gravante, Doppelganger4 by Shutterstock.com]