How can I get kinder

Learning friendliness: 6 simple tips

The stress at work is growing, the previous night was sleepless and the house blessing hangs crooked at home. Sure, you're in a bad mood. We can't do that every day Friendliness in person be. Everyone understands that. However, it should remain the exception to the rule. Anyone who regularly snubs or hurts others with their demeanor and behavior should urgently work on their friendliness. The good news: Friendliness can be learned. We'll show you six simple tips ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Learning friendliness: why so unfriendly?

According to definition Friendliness is the ability to treat others in an appreciative, respectful and benevolent manner and to create an appreciative atmosphere through one's own behavior.

Incidentally, this has nothing to do with slime or lust for pleasure (as Aristotle once called it), but rather with an inner basic attitude, an attitude, one's fellow human beings friendly encounter to want. Somebody like that shows real (!) Interest to others, takes consideration their situation and emotions and tries to do so behaviorthat nobody can be offended.

Unfortunately, not all are like that. And we even get it with a veritable one Unsympathetic to do, the noble resolution is quickly forgotten. If he's already behaving like the elephant in a china shop, why should I still prove a child?

Some characters, some personality downright provokes that we our forget good manners and put the other in his place.

In fact, most people are not rude because they are naturally in a bad mood or have no manners (exceptions prove the rule). Rather, the unfriendliness is often preceded by an acute reason. For example…

  • General dissatisfaction with the situation.
  • The feeling of being treated badly.
  • The desire to assert yourself.
  • Criticism that one does not find justified.
  • Problems you have with yourself.

The environment is often not aware of these reasons, only notices the unfriendliness - and snaps back. This creates misunderstandings, arguments and relationship crises.

Granted, it's neither easy to find one Affront or to let a provocation ricochet off and to question the behavior and its motives (benevolently). It is still easy to jump over one's own shadow and to remember that our counterpart may not be able to help the acute frustration and has not deserved it when Valve and self-therapeutic buffer stop to be abused.

It is all the more important - even if basically everyone knows - to discipline and admonish yourself again and again, Kindness to learn, practice and practice - no matter how difficult it is. Not only because we make things easier for others and promptly appear more personable. We're doing ourselves a favor: we're training ours Self-control and also mature personally.

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Why friendliness pays off

In fact, there are now some studies that show that Kindness doesn't just make others happybut above all ourselves.

The reason: When we are friendly to others, our body releases more neurotransmitters Serotonin out. Effect: We are more optimistic about ourselves and the world. Our self-image improves and we feel better. Likewise, when doing a good deed, the bond hormone oxytocin is released more, which in turn strengthens relationships. It can also be shown that the level of the stress hormone cortisol in the blood sometimes drops by up to 23 percent.

Short: Friendliness relaxed.

In studies conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky from the University of California at Berkeley, for example, the majority of the test subjects said themselves more optimistic, more confident and feeling stronger after helping others. The participants also stated that they had more energy and larger ones serenity to own.

A Harvard study, in turn, came to the conclusion that those who do good are not just behind happier as a participant in a control group. Friendly people also had less ...

In studies at the University of British Columbia, however, the researchers found that anyone who did something for others at least once a day and six days a week (for example, serving a coffee, opening the door, donating one euro, ...) had after only four Weeks a much more positive attitude towards life happier with his life and relationships with other people also improved overall.

In short - even if that shouldn't be the real incentive: Friendliness is worth it - especially for ourselves.

6 simple tips to be kinder

Friendliness can open many doors, lead to important contacts, improve the working atmosphere and increase general satisfaction. And of course there is also the fact that others tend to like you and find yourself less often in confrontations.

But what should you do if you find it difficult to be kind? We have six simple tips In summary, with which you can learn to become (even) friendlier:

  1. Make the conscious choice.

    Friendliness starts in the head. Anyone can have bad days that make it hard to be friendly. But those who consciously make the decision to work on their friendliness have already taken an important step in the right direction.

  2. Start with yourself.

    Friendliness does not only take place towards other people, but also applies to oneself. Those who constantly talk badly, criticize and do not appreciate themselves will also represent this attitude externally and will be perceived by those around them as bad-tempered, unfriendly and unappealing.

  3. Don't blame others.

    Often it happens unintentionally, but if you are in a bad mood, you like to take it out on those around you - whether those affected can do something about it or not. You can vent your own frustration in this way, but with others it doesn't go down well if you are confronted with the concentrated bad mood for no reason. Try not to blame others for your anger and you will be kinder.

  4. Acknowledge the kindness of others.

    Sometimes we are so busy with ourselves or our tasks that we don't even notice the friendly gestures of others. Noticing these kind gestures, however, is not just a good reason to be a little kinder yourself, but a way to show it right away. For example, return the favor for a favor or offer your help.

  5. Smile more often.

    A friendly smile helps in two ways: On the one hand, others perceive you as warm, friendly and open-minded, even before you have even said anything. On the other hand, you too will feel better yourself and you will automatically be more friendly towards other people. Why you smile doesn't really matter. Think about a nice event or just look forward to the conversation and the honest smile will come naturally.

  6. Seize every opportunity.

    When should you show friendliness? A popular question, but the simple answer is: Whenever possible. The day is teeming with opportunities to be kind. Bring someone a coffee, hold the door open, greet colleagues with a friendly greeting "Good Morning"instead of just nodding your head. The more you take the chance, the friendlier you get - automatically. And the faster a good reputation precedes you.

Positive side effect: the more often we do Practice and practice kindnessthe more it changes our brain - thanks to neuroplasticity. Or to put it another way: friendliness makes us better people - in both senses of the word.

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