What is more important than pleasure

Bringing work and pleasure into balance

These questions arise more often when it comes to the plans for 2017: Am I investing more time in my company because I want to grow and make more sales, or is my family more important to me? Do I save 200 euros per month for old age or do I fly to the Maldives? Do I want to have children with my partner or is my independence more important to me? We often face such questions in our lives, where we have to make decisions professionally and privately. Because it is an illusion to assume that everything is possible at the same time.

Many people find it difficult to make a decision. Because: if we decide in favor of something, we have to discard other options. We can only do that if we know what is important to us. Otherwise we might make a lot of resolutions, but a day or two later they'll be forgotten. Because our resolutions are not anchored in a life vision.

What is important and what is urgent?

In addition, what is really important in our life is never urgent. For example, there is never an urgent need to go jogging. But it would be good for our health. And there is never an urgent need to take time to talk to your partner. But it would be important for the relationship.

Because the really important things are (almost) never urgent, we often put them off before us. Or we cherish the illusion: If I can do everything faster, I'll have time for that too. The only consequence: we lead a life at high speed. And at some point we realize with resignation: Now I am leading a (even) more full life, but not a full life.

Challenge: maintaining balance in life

Such an imbalance is not an individual fate. In the modern, rapidly changing world, more and more people are plagued by the feeling: My life is not right. One reason for this is that most people have a clear perspective on their professional career - for example: “I want to be a boss.” It is different in the areas of life “Meaning / Culture”, “Body / Health” and “Family / Relationship” " out. We often lack clear goals here.

In the hectic pace of everyday life, we often overlook the fact that the four areas of life are interrelated. Therefore, whoever over-emphasizes the area of ​​"work / profession" in the long term, for example, loses not only their zest for life, but also their productivity. Because:

  • Those who are sick can neither enjoy their life to the fullest, nor are they full of energy.
  • Those who are lonely are neither & ldquo; squeaky happy & ldquo; nor are they bursting with energy at work.
  • Anyone who is in a crisis of meaning is neither & ldquo; happy & ldquo; nor very productive. Because behind everything is the question: What is the whole point?

So if we want to live a full life, we have to find the right balance between the four areas of life. We can only do this if we have a vision of our future life. We also need this because we are faced with many demands today that can only be reconciled to a limited extent. Almost all working mothers will immediately confirm this.

In most higher-skilled jobs, irregular working hours are normal. For working mothers, this means: They can no longer leave the office every day, for example at 4 p.m. sharp. So what should they do when kindergarten closes at 4 p.m.? Another example: Many company sellers find it increasingly difficult to keep regular private appointments. Because every now and then a customer appointment lasts longer than planned. So (interests) conflicts are programmed.

Goal: manage your own life

Classic time and self-management does not offer us a solution for such conflicts - because it does not take into account that our greatest conflicts usually result from the fact that we are integrated into a social network of relationships. Here are two examples: A boss can say, “Tonight, exactly 6 p.m., I'll leave the office.” But if a customer says shortly before 6 p.m. “I would like to have this offer today”, then he has a problem. It is the same when he resolves to “I go jogging regularly in the evening”, but his partner says: “If you come home from work so late, then you could at least stay with me and the children”. Even then, he has a problem.

Classic time management acts as if we were going through life as "lonely heroes". We can do that, but we don't lead a fulfilled life like this, because: Human life is life in community. In addition, many of the demands that life places on us can only be mastered with the help of other people. For example, by agreeing with friends: “You pick up my children on Mondays so that I can work longer. I will take your children with me on Tuesday for this. ”This results in a further challenge: We have to become“ managers ”of our own lives, so to speak - people who, through their actions today, ensure that they will continue to lead a happy and fulfilled life in the future.

One of the prerequisites for this is that we must ensure today that we will not lose our balance in life in the future. For example because

  • we lose our job (area & ldquo; work / profession & ldquo;),
  • our partner leaves us (area & ldquo; family / relationship & ldquo;),
  • we have a heart attack (area & ldquo; body / health & ldquo;) or
  • the burn-out syndrome and with it the crisis of meaning grabs us (area & ldquo; sense / culture & ldquo;).

The first step in this is to develop a vision of our future life. So, for example, sit down between the years and ask yourself about the four areas of life:

  • What is really important to me?
  • What does a fulfilled life show for me? And:
  • What do I have to do today so that I can live a happy life tomorrow?

Act pro-actively instead of reacting

In addition, ask yourself (regularly): Are there signs in my living environment that the balance in my life could be threatened in the future? Such warning signals can be:

  • There is increasing silence between you and your partner. Even important friends no longer contact you (area & ldquo; Family / Relationship & ldquo;).
  • In your company, the top priority is suddenly & ldquo; Save & ldquo; (Area of ​​& ldquo; work / occupation & ldquo;).
  • You ask yourself more and more frequently: What is all of this? (Area & ldquo; Sense / Culture & ldquo;).
  • Now and then you feel a stinging sensation in your heart area (area & ldquo; body / health & ldquo;).

Once you have answered these questions for yourself, you can make specific resolutions and design a plan of action for yourself on how to implement them. And without the risk of having forgotten your resolutions again, the New Year's Eve rockets have hardly burned out. Because your resolutions are now anchored in a vision of your future life.