What's the point of sex in dating

Bird or stroll? A typology of first Tinder dates - Our single column # 26

Lately the, let's say, unconventional ones have been increasing for me Tinder-First dates. But when is a date a good date? Which ideas are practically possible backfiring per se? And what would I not do anymore? In order to be able to classify it a little better for myself, it is worth taking a short overview.

The classic

"Let's go have a drink" - that is certain for me as well as for the men the most common phrasewhen it comes to the first date. When I'm particularly bold, I invite the men to my house and court bar. Then I save myself the long, tiring walk home on a bad date. And on a good date I can say: “You, it just so happens that I live across the street. Maybe you want to come up with me? The bar is about to close anyway… ”. I think that's pretty clever of myself. And has also worked very often in both cases. No risk, but no special challenge either. Conclusion: always works.

The romantic

That comes with Tinder less frequently. Which could also be because I am responsible for myself extremely unromantic hold. At least in the classic sense. The most romantic thing was surely a spontaneous trip to Brandenburg together. With boating and such. Was okay. I prefer, however, spontaneous binge drinking at Späti. Or so. Because: if you drive away together, you have to answer when in doubt keep them busy for several hours. And, I can say that from some experience: Never underestimate the possible discrepancy between the first text messages and even phone calls and the first personal meeting. Size, smell, facial expressions, gestures - the supposedly exciting, eloquent, sexy guy can suddenly turn into a boring little sausage face to face. Unfortunately. Hence my advice: only plan longer trips with someone you can assess as well as possible. Maybe skype beforehand? Or just go to a bar first.

The spontaneously adventurous

One of the more daring dates is my idea of ​​spontaneously going to a festival with a man I met while partying. Well, we'd seen each other once or twice after that, but actually we hardly knew each other. So it's almost like an online date. He was already there, still had a ticket, and I was going to. No sleep, but plenty of amusement that a festival offers. It was ... amazingly good! Because the man, ten years younger than me, could even get through my worst mental and physical breakdown accompany the next day. That could also have caught the eye. Because I was practically defenseless. Therefore: Only partially a good idea. The plan was a touch softer, with a man after only a short conversation going straight to a club. That went really well! But first you should clarify: How do you spend this night, which “additives” are involved, in other words, can it happen that the man suddenly sees bright colors and goes crazy? Can you possibly make the way back to your own four walls on your own? With all of that sorted out, a date like this can be great too. Just happened to me.

The sex date

Almost a classic (for me): You write, you ask what you are looking for, words like "try it out, without obligation, curiosity, sex ..." and in no time a strange guy stands on the doorstep who is extremely pointed and with an easy a blazing look over the threshold. As before, it seems to me that I am no more than one of 500 women who meet men this way. Especially on the first date and directly in your own apartment. And still I feel tempted discouraging other women. I always like to justify my behavior with my very good knowledge of human nature. And minemeanwhile a wealth of experience. Strangely enough, I say to others: I would not necessarily recommend ordering strange men directly into your own apartment in such a purely emotional sense. At least should beforehand important key data such as full name, telephone number, ideally Facebook etc. exchanged and all before the meeting sent to friends. So that if the worst comes to the worst, they can knock if there is no later call. Otherwise, the big advantage here is the fabulous thrill that I got a bit addicted to. But overall, you can always come back to option one.

So. And now I'm trying something completely new. A Midweek afternoon date. To stroll. THAT is fancy. I will report.

So then: on the shoots!

Your Masha


I'm Mascha (32) and I've been single for around a year and a half. After a long relationship, I finally have time to act out a bit, get the hell out of it and don't let anything burn. I secretly wait for my bearded knight, who gallops with his horse into the back yard of my Neukölln apartment and with whom I can drink a mate or two without vodka. Until then, I'll be working as a guinea pig on behalf of all Berlin singles, testing myself through various dating portals, events and parties. And leave no stone unturned to give libido and love a boost. Uncertain outcome. What should I try next? Write to: [email protected]