Can you lie to yourself

Lying to myself doesn't change the truth either

Last update: 28th August, 2017

I always tell everyone that I want to be told the truth and nothing but the truth on every matter. I ask those around me and I feel safe when I know that I am openly and honestly given my opinion on every possible topic and every conceivable topic. Lying to me doesn't do any good.

But whoever actually lacks an honest demeanor is me - or at least that's what I think at first. What I'm saying is that I thought that I would be honest with myself when I actually wasn't. And that was much more difficult for me than being lied to by someone else.

“Courage is not as expensive as you think.
Cowardice, on the other hand, is worthless. "

Joaquín Sabina

I lied to myself because I thought it would be easier that way

I've always believed that people would lie to me for being cowardly. Because, as we all know, it is much more complicated to come out with the truth. We also know that there are many factors that play a role in telling or hiding something that can lead to a lie.

However, experience has taught me that lying to others may be cowardly - I know that this cannot be generalized - but lying to ourselves is something we atone for by feeling fear with every fiber of our being.

Those who constantly lie to themselves often have a more serious problem. But if you only speak the truth nicely at certain moments, you probably want to hide something that scares you and what he doesn't know or doesn't want to know. In these types of situations, I lied to myself because I believed it would be easier to move on that way.

The truth is a matter of the heart and one cannot contradict the heart

But I was wrong: you can't go on like this, because Lies always lead to hopeless situations to disappointment, suffering and an unhappy ending that affects ourselves or others.

I finally understood that I could hide the truth from my head and that it could look ahead again on its own. But all of me couldn't do that. I can't fool my heart. It couldn't just close its eyes and carry on like this. I couldn't contradict him and lie to myself, because the truth cannot be avoided.

"I like people who are able to understand that trying to say something with the head that the heart cannot say is the greatest mistake man can make."

Mario Benedetti

It struck me that in my own battle “heart against mind” the heart would always emerge as the winner. When I lied to myself it made me realize that I was not being honest and that I had to be. Maybe I realized it late, because that's how it is every time we feel so lost. But in doing so, I allowed myself to be happy again.

Look yourself and the truth in the eyes

To be aware of it I had to trust myself to deal with myself, tame all my monsters and face what I did not want to hear out loud. I no longer lied to myself when I was just looking at the pure reality, when I fell in love and actually didn't want to, when I thought I had overcome something and that wasn't the case.

"You deserve the best in the world because you are one of those people who are always honest with me in this terrible world, and that's the only thing that really matters."

Frida Kahlo

And so I acted from there on and I learned something that I internalized and keep reminding myself: In this world full of nostalgia and cold, it is our moral obligation to find our happiness.

I have to allow myself to be happy as often as possible because there is always some reason to feel unhappy. I have to keep reminding myself that I can never doubt something and refuse to do it if it is good for me and does not hurt anyone else.

Whenever this possibility of lying presents itself to me, I have to think of the following: Lying to myself is an option. An option that, however, does not lead to anything and does not change the truth. And besides, we already hear way too many lies anyway. We don't have to lie to ourselves too.