Has someone blown your sweet navel?
These are the worst sex experiences in the ze.tt community
02/13/17, 7:38 pm
A drama in three acts:
Act I: He puts on the condom, I'm lying next to it. He gets up to throw the packaging in the kitchen and wash his hands. With cold water.
Act II: The act lasts two minutes. "You liked it too, didn't you?" He asks.
Act III: He jumps up to wash himself. Shortly afterwards he goes back to bed. "Did you take a cold shower, your cock is so cold?" I ask. “Nah, I'll just let it hang in the bowl when you wash it down. Really saves a lot of water! "
The curtain goes down. No applause.
02/13/17, 7:42 pm
I was just about to give him a blowjob. When I was busy with his eggs, there was a sudden knock on the door. Long story short: I bit out of sheer shock, which gave him an immediate orgasm in pain and the entire load splashed on the wall.
02/13/17, 7:50 pm
My first one night stand. We go to him after a club night and have fun on his sofa. Already undressed and snogging wildly, my stomach contents suddenly rose into my mouth in a flash. As an aside, it should be mentioned that I was heavily drunk: D.
I then tried to get the mixture of nightly McDonalds snack and gin and tonic back up my stomach with a deep gulp. Unfortunately I didn't succeed, so I ended up spitting myself, my one-night-stand and its sinfully expensive Exorzimsus-like sofa with my own body brew ... By the way, it was also my last one-night stand ...
02/13/17, 8:21 pm
Knowing that it could be more embarrassing and / or worse: During the dating phase with my ex-boyfriend, I got him to cook together. He actually thought it was stupid, but especially at the beginning of getting to know each other, you want to please the other person particularly well. So we cooked - something with chili. He cuts the chilli and doesn't seem to wash his hands that well. Two hours later in bed - his hand in my crotch and a burn of hell. The fatal thing about it, quite apart from the really immense pain, I was visiting my parents at the time, who then had to drive me to a doctor because firstly we had been drinking while we were cooking and secondly there was no public transport. End of story: my mom, me and a tube of ointment for something that looked like burns on my mom, accompanied by a MORE than unpleasant silence in the car. She looked like she wanted to laugh at me - but she didn't. Thank you Mama.
02/13/17, 9:44 pm
Nothing is embarrassing, people just have to be able to laugh about it. Falling out of bed makes sex much more fun.
02/13/17, 9:59 pm
During sex I inserted her love balls anally - it was my first time, so I accidentally sunk the retrieval cord with it. She then went to the bathroom and it took almost an hour to get her out. Meanwhile, I was lying in someone else's apartment and saw myself sitting in the emergency room. It was our first date, we met through Tinder. Never saw us again after that.
02/13/17, 10:23 pm
I once had a very special one-night stand. After falling asleep, he urinated on my bed. Very appetizing.
02/13/17, 10:24 p.m.
We were in the doggy position, he made a mistake in the entrance. I thought he wanted anal sex. He asked why I was suddenly so tense, tried it with verve, which made me jump away from him in shock at the sudden pain, whereupon all eroticism was gone and a laborious attempt to clarify the misunderstanding only made us sink even more into shame.
02/13/17, 10:30 p.m.
So I had a one night stand and during sex I got my days and he wanted to lick me downstairs. But then I quickly distracted and we kissed.
02/13/17, 10:33 pm
I had really hard sex with my girlfriend and the bed almost collapsed. Then she wanted to give me a blowjob, but it didn't work. He hung down the whole time and didn't get stiff anymore. She already laughed at me. That was really embarrassing.
02/13/17, 10:54 p.m.
We had been talking about each other for a long time and so it turned out how it had to come. She visited me during my studies in my flat share and of course slept in my bed. No DVD playing time later, we were already in the middle of the battle. My reach in the drawer for condoms was interrupted by her, "Wait a minute!" She said and rummaged in her bag next to the bed. I thought she was pulling out a necklace, but it turned out to be a pendulum. She then let the pendulum rotate over her stomach and pubic area in order to tell me seconds later that it would be possible today without a condom. Horny like Schmitz ‘Katzen, of course, I didn't want to do without sex and with a" double is better "I was able to fulfill my wish for a condom. After that she “rode” me so strangely that I had the feeling that my colleague down there would just fly away. I was glad to be able to finish it with pain, but to be able to satisfy her. Beautiful great girl, but the worst sex of my life. [...]
02/13/17, 11:11 pm
A few years ago my boyfriend and I were with his relatives in Poland. As we were on the way home, the desire overcame us and we stopped with the car on a dirt road. While we were in the middle of it all, we suddenly heard hooves on the gravel and saw an old coachman next to the car, who had enjoyed our hustle and bustle. We both were extremely embarrassed. Today we can laugh about it very well.
02/13/17, 11:24 pm
A guy said he wanted to get to know me, we met, had a drink, danced, then I went to him, he splashed my face and then threw me out. A week later he writes to me and says that it was nice and that we would see each other again. So I gave him a lecture via voice message. Idiot.
02/13/17, 11:28 pm
My ex-boyfriend regularly stopped having sex because he said I didn't want it and he was doing something against my will, even though I actually wanted to have sex. I told him that too. But then it was too late. Sex isn't everything in a relationship. There are many things that I consider to be more important, but I am glad that with the end of the relationship, our sex is history too. He should have therapy.
02/13/17, 11:40 pm
The first time with my last girlfriend, she was 24 and we had officially known each other for three weeks. But we had been chatting for a long time. And I was 31. It happened at night. I asked for a rubber, she just said you don't need that. She loved me. What she didn't know, it was my first time and he only got half stiff. Totally useless for sex. Have tried a couple of times. She said it was okay. I lied to her a story about thinking about my father. The story wasn't a lie, what my father did and such, but at that moment I wasn't thinking about him. Much, much later, I told her the truth. We both laughed. After all, we were together for four years.
02/14/17, 12:28 am
I, then 19 years old, met a guy, 27, at my best friend's housewarming party, whom I found very attractive when I was drunk. The problem was that I lived three hours away. He added me to Facebook and we wrote intensely for a week. Then I moved for my studies and missed my chance to see him again. He said he would drive to me for the seven hours and of course I was super happy. When he arrived we kissed immediately and ended up in bed. Then during sex he would utter sentences like “Oh my God! Yes awesome! Oh God!". It was so disturbing to me that I bought him a ticket the next day and then sent him away. I've never been so disgusted with a guy, but he really did manage to give me nightmares. After that, I blocked him on Facebook.
02/14/17, 1:43 am
I was 19 then, as was my boyfriend at the time. We even knew each other's parents. We were both virgins and tried to have sex. But that didn't quite work. Then my friend said to me: "Oh come on, call your mother and ask." And that until I did it. Of course, my mother laughed first. But well. : D
02/14/17, 8:47 am
I have been with my girlfriend for some time now, at the beginning of our relationship she lived with her parents in a chic single-family house. When we were alone it got over us and we did it all over the house. We did not consider that the neighbors could see the garden directly and therefore the glass patio door was not covered. It happened as it had to, the neighbor saw us and called my friend's mother, who was not far away at the moment, and hurried home to teach us. Well, it came just as I was ejaculating with a loud moan. I couldn't look her in the eye for a long time.
02/14/17, 12:58 pm
I was just in my first semester. 18 years young, single and open-minded. I wanted to try a one night stand and I was flirting with a hot mid-30s. At some point we were smooching in front of his front door and he whispered all sorts of nasty things in my ear that really turned me on. But then he whispered: "And then I want to poop on your stomach and smear you with my shit." That was a lot too crazy for me and I ran away from him. XD
02/14/17, 1:58 pm
Fell off the loft bed drunk with my partner. The next day first to the hospital.
02/14/17, 3:00 p.m.
I met a guy I wanted to be in a relationship with. We then had sex right away. He was lying on top of me and suddenly stopped. I asked what was going on, he said (while he was still inside of me!): “I think that wasn't such a good idea. I still have feelings for my ex. "
02/14/17, 9:21 pm
I had sex with my longtime girlfriend. Back then, women still had long hair in the genital area. Somehow a hair got between my penis and your vagina and I cut my foreskin. I was bleeding terribly and had to tie a towel around my penis. Then we got a car from friends and I drove to the hospital alone. Operation with local anesthesia and corresponding Latin comments about the injury. Return by taxi, the leg under anesthesia. A few weeks later the girlfriend broke up.
02.15.17, 12:10 am
It was a few days before Christmas, his family had just flown out, and we took the opportunity ... seconds after we finished we heard his mother calling his name and knocking on the door. I got off him in a flash, grabbed the blanket and thought: "Please, please don't come in now!" - Those were the worst seconds of my life (especially because I only knew his mother for a day). Fortunately, she stopped at the door. She asked if we wanted to play some board games ... I hope she didn't hear or suspect that we were having sex. My friend says she probably waited for us to finish. Damn it …! : D
02/15/17, 11:34 am
I once slipped during sex and slammed my head on the sharp edge of the Ikea bed. Zack, laceration. I sat in bed laughing and bleeding at my clumsiness, the still unknown lady probably didn't think it was so funny.
Since then I have a scar under my right eyebrow. Fittingly, there is an almost exactly mirrored scar under the other eyebrow. This comes from a beer crate - better not ask. But at least honest scars.
02/15/17 3:09 pm
Met him through Tinder and he seemed really cool until I started playing around with his best piece and he suddenly said in all seriousness "Yeah, suck my dick". And goodbye!
02/15/17, 3:10 p.m.
I had gathered up my courage and spoke to her in the bar. A couple of gin and tonics and I felt her hand on my lap. We went to me. At that time I lived elsewhere to study and that night slept with my parents in the nursery. Of course, my mother fell asleep in front of the television and greeted us - embarrassment uno. Before we slept together, I paused - no condoms at home. I already talked about her, she said: “It doesn't matter! Do you want to or not ?! " I, drunk, stupid and pointed like Lumpi, pushed my concerns aside. The next morning my mum urgently needed something out of the room. "Don't come in," I called. Shortly afterwards I saw: the whole bed is covered in blood; she must have had her days. She didn't seem to care. I drove her home, wanted to chat with her a little more - no reaction. I meekly explained the mess with the bloody sheet to my mom and brushed the blood off the white leather sofa. It reacted coolly while I sank into the ground. Weeks later, after my stupidity, the AIDS test - luckily everything went well.
02/15/17, 3:10 p.m.
I was in bed with my boyfriend at the time and things slowly got down to business. Suddenly, without warning, he starts telling me about a girl from his eighth grade dance class. He probably never noticed that she was into him. While I was staring at him a bit stunned, he told me about her great red hair (I'm blonde, by the way) and finally added that he would have missed a chance with her. It all happened the first time I lay shirtless next to him. It could have been our first time, but of course that went well. That he didn't necessarily have to tell me, and certainly not in a situation like that, he only noticed when I said “That was stupid” and left.
02/15/17, 3:12 pm
A condom once disappeared in me ... My partner had to look for it.
02/15/17, 3:50 p.m.
As a student, I had a friend who was the director of a nice Berlin hotel. To see us, he always reserved a room for me, as he often worked long hours. At one point we did it so hard that we collapsed on the bed with a crash. We had to laugh out loud. I don't know how he solved the problem. I had to go home, the house was booked out. ;-)
02/15/17, 3:57 pm
I was staying overnight in a Hamburg luxury hotel when I met the very attractive lady at the bar. Two hours later we were in bed in my room. When I wanted to kiss her breasts, I noticed a lot of hair around the nipples and nothing worked on me.
02/15/17, 4:03 pm
After nothing moved for me after a night of partying, I had to puke to the toilet. Bold of her to just leave the hostel room ...
02/15/17, 5:20 pm
The worst sex was with a friend. We had arranged to have sex, which in retrospect was a terrible idea because I actually didn't want to, but couldn't get out of the deal without being awkward. When kissing, it didn't work out at all, I couldn't get one up at first, just to come as quickly as possible. Laughing or talking during sex was taboo, which only added to making things more uncomfortable. Afterwards there were months of discussion as to why I didn't want to repeat it.
02/15/17, 5:54 p.m.
I was having an affair with a party acquaintance. We never met before two in the morning, and at least one of us was drunk at the nightly meetings. He had partied all night once and had a terrible hangover the next day. Nevertheless, he asked if I would not like to visit him in his apartment in the early evening - he was so invited. So I went to him (this time nobody was drunk, just hungover) and we just lay around on his bed at first. At some point we kissed and touched, which immediately came from. We continued after a pause, this time he made it until he penetrated me ... and then came back immediately. Then he got so dizzy and sick that nothing worked anymore and I felt like a living sex doll: just used and left behind. That was the last time we met.
02/15/17, 6:05 pm
I had only recently been dating my boyfriend at the time. I was at his house and we had sex on his leather couch until he suddenly "slipped" and fell pretty hard into and on me. He said everything is okay and just kept going. After about five more minutes, he said it hurt a lot and got up. When I got up there was suddenly a huge pool of blood under me and I didn't know whether I was bleeding or he ... Then we cleaned together and suddenly he was totally dizzy and his face was white as cheese.But he didn't want to go to the hospital. When he started bleeding again, I forced him to go to the hospital. When he got there at the emergency room, he had to be sewn because his frenulum was torn. We were happy together for another two years.
02/15/17, 6:54 p.m.
Back then I was lying in bed next to a guy who seemed to have a difficult time anyway, and I undressed. When I was lying next to him in underwear, he looked at me longer and was silent - actually the perfect moment to compliment a woman. After a while of silence, he asks me "what size shoe do you actually have ...?" That's it with the mood!
The second escapade with him:
We had (only half) sex. Then I went to the loo and put on his white sports pants for the way to the loo of the shared apartment. When I was in the bathroom, I was shocked to see that there was a poop stain right in my pants! Was afraid it was mine. When I checked my panties, I knew they weren't from me. Disgusting! That's it.
My friends and I are still laughing. Maybe Monsieur will find himself reading ... haha.
02/15/17, 7:04 p.m.
Party, meet someone. About ten years older than me, exactly my thing. We watched films with his roommate, smoked something, were a little drunk. We secretly petted each other under the covers and disappeared into his room when his roommate fell asleep. I really thought it could be great. In the end it was a matter of five minutes. He took me in two or three positions, came - and then the whole thing was over for him. The kind / generous one handed another handkerchief ... (to clean me up).
02/15/17, 7:23 pm
After we'd talked about sex with other people during foreplay in bed (which was pretty relaxed), it got down to business and I was busy with my fingers between her legs. After a while I felt something in her that seemed unusual to me. I asked and she got very nervous, remembering that two days earlier she wasn't sure where her tampon was while having sex with someone. After a few minutes of not feeling too erotic in her I was able to extract the thing. The smell was pretty bad. We both found the story amusing, but the mood was gone for now.
02/15/17, 7:25 pm
I had organized an ONS through a certain internet portal - I like to call it the “dirty exchange”. But because I didn't feel like facing the "to me or to you" question right away and also wanted to see whether I could personally suffer the gentlemen at all, we had chosen a somewhat unusual, public place to "get to know": that local indoor pool. So we swam our laps there and at some point I stood in the water and leaned my arms on the edge of the pool. He stood behind me and whispered in my ear: he shouldn't get out of the water now, otherwise everyone would see the "ten-man tent" that had built up in his pants. Like a little girl, I blushed and grinned a bit stupidly. When I got there, I of course unpacked it, curious to see what its “ten-man tent” had to offer. I'm pretty sure it couldn't be more than the straight line between the thumb and forefinger of my hand. Because of the "ten-man tent". Maximum for a man. A very short man.
02/15/17, 7:41 pm
I am not a woman who can simply speak to men in a bar, at the shooting club or anywhere else. Not even when I find her really attractive. So, before I got lonely, I wanted to try online dating. One of the worst decisions of my life. So at some point there was this user who called himself "Tom". After a lot of messages that were chased back and forth across the servers, he seemed to be of the opinion that he apparently had to "confess" to me that he was Indian. Why you have to "confess" is a mystery to me to this day - we finally met.
After the meeting we sat in the car. "Tom" really wanted to go to my house and even though I didn't really want to, he didn't give up - and I didn't have the determination to be tough. So he finally walked into my apartment and it happened as it had to: we had sex. Whipped for three minutes.
Even though it was only those three minutes that he put his really, really little thing in you-know-something for me, he was completely out of breath. I was visibly disappointed and said nothing to him. We sat next to each other and he protested that he could do it again. This time he would hold out longer, "I promise," he said. On the other hand, I didn't want to, but instead regretted taking it home with me in the first place. He moved closer to me, put on a dachshund look and said "Please". With a clear Indian accent it sounded kind of funny, but this time I was tough: "No."
"Please." It came again. "No." I replied. Again he didn't give up: “Please, please, please!” - I couldn't believe my ears. He actually begged me, shot me one "request" after the other. At some point my collar burst and I threatened to be kicked out if he ever used the B-word one more time.
He looked at me with dachshund eyes, his lips trembled, he grinned a little. Apparently he didn't take me very seriously, because there it was again: "Please." All I did was hold out my arm and say "Get out." Fortunately, I didn't have to do much further: "Tom" disappeared. And for months after that it stuck to my neck again and again as a shadow. I learned one thing from that: never take her home with you after the first meeting.
02/15/17, 7:53 p.m.
I, female, then a tender twenty, broken English. On my trip to South Africa in the bathroom of the youth hostel with a nice 32 year old American from San Diego after a night of partying on Long Street. Around four in the morning, the other four backpackers slept upstairs in the room. The bathroom was downstairs. We at the thing, whoosh, slipped. I fell on the edge of the shower stall under his weight. Diagnosis: tailbone fracture. Forecast: I always have to smile when I sit down.
02/15/17, 9:11 pm
To really let it rip, I borrowed a van from our company, picked up my girlfriend in the evening and looked for a meadow near a village ... It went off violently, the van wobbled, the moaning was very loud. When we finished after about an hour, we got dressed and got on the seats. When I started the engine and turned on the lights, we saw about ten people with dogs, who began to clap and cheer euphorically. We landed on a dog park! We had to laugh ourselves and were sure that we had helped some people to have good sex that night too ...
02/15/17, 9:12 pm
Had sex, she rode me and raged around on me. Suddenly she had gone too high, thundered downwards with great pomp and missed the pole with her hole, the pain was the finest and there was nothing left, but she rode on like mad. Suddenly she slumped with the words "How can you beat me up like that". A few days earlier, after real sex, she said she was used to something better. [...]
02/15/17, 9:16 pm
I - very drunk - make out with one of my roommate's buddies in front of everyone else and drag him into my room a short time later. Everyone knew. And things took their course: first one of the buddies came in and watched us, which I didn't really care about in my completely drunk state. Then I puked my chosen one along with the bed. We wiped it away together. The sex was horrible, we were just too drunk. Funnily enough, he just stayed with me all night. The next morning I noticed that my bladder was really pinching, but I was too exhausted and hungover to get up and fell asleep again. A few hours later, he was still asleep, I noticed that my entire bed was wet. At first I thought it was because we wiped my vomit away. Nobody has ever said a word about it - to this day I don't know whether they noticed that we were sleeping in my urine. Maybe he knows now, hr hr.
02/15/17, 9:28 pm
I peed into my partner once during sex. Didn't think that it would work with a hard-on, but it was. I had a lot of pressure on my bladder when we started and when I came it was out. Everything was completely wet. We never talked about it.
02/15/17, 10:03 pm
She was my (biologically male) very first friend, and she was already at the age of 21. It was Alice Schwarzer's high time in 1984. Of course, everyone who, like me, wanted to please softies and girls liked purple dungarees. Extremely shy, I saw her consuming me again and again in my teaching company. She belonged to the commercial group and was a world away from me as a commercial blue man / locksmith. I don't have a memory of how we really met. If I really spoke to her, it can only have been an act of desperate courage. At some point it came "for the first time". After an inch, I thought that was all and wondered what everyone thinks about it. It didn't feel that intense. Did I come? Probably not, because cleaning was not the order of the day.
The bed was about 20cm too short for me, which hardly bothered me before. I found the prospect of having to lie there until the next morning, awake if necessary, uninspiring. Much worse was the prospect of having to have breakfast with her parents and the noisy macaw. So much for the sentence: “Of course you can stay longer, I live alone.” - in a granny flat with my parents. After an incomplete act, I had a very faint suspicion that something was wrong and looked for an excuse. As I offered myself, the maternal, nocturnal, guttural-hysterical nagging against my more mature brother, who was one year younger, immediately rose into my mind with fear: “Where are you from now? Because of YOURS I can't sleep! ”His answers varied, in complete contrast to our mother's accusations, which differed only in the time:“ WE couldn't either, we were wide awake, don't worry! ”“ We don't have to wait to pop , until it is night, that's always possible with my girlfriend, she lives alone! ”The following discussion was just as uncomfortable as it was structural. So I went home at one. After that, our relationship ended pretty quickly. It wasn't until four years later that the RIGHT came first. Ah. Is that sooooo? Whaaahnsinnnnn!
02/15/17, 10:37 pm
I met a slightly older man through Tinder. Everything was great, we met in a hotel and just wanted to have some fun. He would have liked to have anal, I told him I wouldn't want that because my bottom would always tear open - because he does it all by himself, for whatever reason. He was silent about it and we got down to business, but he just couldn't get up. (The guy wasn't THAT old after all!) When I wanted to go home, he told me I should stay, after all, he had found my weak point. Said it and hit my ass. Should have rubbed him one, but I just looked at him perplexed and dressed quickly ... he couldn't follow me naked. Never again Tinder!
February 15, 2017, 10:49 pm
She is a sex goddess! Later, at 69, I notice how sweet and strangely creamy her vaginal secretions are. Since very little light penetrates through the curtains, I can't see anything ... The next morning I see small red spots on the blanket, the bed, and later even her fingerprints in the middle of the wall at the head of our playground. The mandatory test three months later was negative. Uff.
02/15/17, 10:50 p.m.
We met a couple and the four of us ended up in bed. Since it was the larger bed, it was the bed of the daughter who was out that day. After a short wild sex the bed collapsed with a crash.
02/15/17, 10:52 pm
The first time with the new girlfriend. She doesn't have that much experience ... After she has ridden she starts doing some kind of push-ups, her pelvis remains calm. Luckily she didn't blame me for laughing ...
02/15/17, 10:53 pm
After a big blunt, we got down to business. I gave him a blow job and maybe exaggerated a little, because I felt my stomach turn. Suddenly it came up to me and I puked on his tail in my mouth. I didn't want him to notice anything and I swallowed it all and went on. Almost certainly he noticed it anyway.
02/15/17, 10:59 pm
Spring break in Florida. Was in the hotel in the afternoon and met a woman who is on the way to her room. One look, a smile, a few words, and we're in my room. This wild cat ... As the "fog" clears, I notice: My back is completely scratched and its teeth have left visible, sometimes bloody marks on my left shoulder. Ouch ...
02/15/17, 11:08 pm
On the way to the early shift one Sunday morning, two young Swedes passed me on their way to the airport in the S-Bahn on the way. We got into conversation very quickly and then finally had our fun one after the other above the train station where we had to change trains. Unfortunately, the two didn't want to go together. There were also passers-by who wished us a lot of fun. Afterwards the two Swedes just asked "What did they say?" And I just replied "Have fun!". The really embarrassing thing for one of the two: It occurred to him afterwards that he actually has a girlfriend in Sweden.
02/15/17, 11:13 pm
We had sex in the car. Suddenly the car rolled away. The car rolled down the hill with us across the field. We tried hysterically to apply the handbrake, but it was dark and we just couldn't find the brake in the chaos and disorientation. My friend tried to steer and so we ended up in the ditch at some point. With great effort we somehow managed to get the car out of the ditch half-naked. Then suddenly the forester stood in front of us and illuminated us with high beams. We quickly hopped into the car and drove across the meadow onto the dirt road. We had to laugh so much. Fortunately, nothing worse has happened.
February 15, 2017, 11:24 pm
I'm sitting in the sleeper compartment of the train to Beijing with five Chinese people smoking, drinking tea and Maotai and spitting. When a passing Chinese woman sees me, she enters the compartment. She is talking to the men, who all suddenly get up and leave the compartment. To my first surprise. She draws the curtain on the corridor, talks to me, and begins to touch me everywhere. All over. After my second surprise, I repay like with like, I understand, I should undress. I take her off too ... The sex with her wasn't spectacular, neither of us understood our words, but we laughed a lot. After we had dressed, she left the compartment without a word, and the five men gradually came back in. They talked to me laughing. I didn't understand any of this at all. What was that?
02/16/17, 12:12 am
On vacation I had a one-night stand, of course with a condom, but it slipped and she got pregnant. Then she miscarried, but I almost became a father several hundred kilometers from Germany ...
February 16, 2017, 3:45 am
My first time. That was also my first intoxication back then. I was 15. He, I think, 18. We had sex, I only noticed half of it.
1) A friend who slept in the same room said we should change positions because my head hit the wall all the time and that was annoying.
2) After sex: I went into the next room, naked, to another friend and told her I had just had sex and I forgot whether we were using contraception or not. So when I was young and drunk I called 147 - rataufdraht on xDD and asked what I should do now. The counselor said I should ask him. I went into his room and asked if we were using birth control, he just laughed. The next day I asked him on Facebook, yes, we were using contraception, condom was in the bin, I could look it up if I want.
3) My friend's mother, confused, asked what kind of panty they were in the toilet - they were mine! I probably hid it in the loo last night because I was embarrassed about the pattern and I didn't want him to see it. Man, I had a rag! :-D
02/16/17, 3:54 am
A guy came sooo mega fast once, shortly after plugging it in, that I didn't even notice - he thought, maybe he moans like that - and I kept riding on him until he said: "Hey, it's‘ over ... "
February 16, 2017, 7:30 a.m.
Big debate after the greatest crisis, rapprochement for days, careful building of trust, then at some point symbiotic fusion sex with the greatest intimate and intimate closeness. And meanwhile, taking the vow on her own children's lives that she would not have sex with anyone else. Then a little later to find out that it had as much to do with the truth as shit had with gold.
02/16/17, 8:21 am
After a wild party, a lady accompanied me to my home. We were both hot like Anton, but probably both slightly dehydrated from the party and still with a lot of stamina. The sex was wild and lasted a long time. At noon I looked in the mirror and saw a face that resembled that of a polar bear. A polar bear that had just eaten a seal! Back in bed I told her that she could at least have briefly mentioned before licking that she was about to have her period. "I had my days two weeks ago ..."
Back in the bathroom I found that my foreskin was torn and the blood on my face was my own ...
The good thing about it: The episode earned me a dispensation for military service, which pretty much freed me from all physical exertion :)
02/16/17, 8:42 am
I was still living at home then and hadn't been with my current ex that long either. My room was two floors above the living room where my parents were. So we felt undisturbed. When things slowly got down to business for us, my father suddenly burst in. With an "Oh!" He closed the door again and asked aloud from outside whether the heating would work now. It worked and the mood was gone.
02/16/17, 10:48 am
A guy in his early twenties and I met in the sauna at my gym. We thought we were horny and we drove to his home. He still lived with his parents, but said they weren't there at the moment. On the way he asked me if I would find it cool if he had a friend and her boyfriend come to him too. Of course no problem …
So the four of us are happily enjoying ourselves in the living room on the parents' sofa and the carpet - all of a sudden we hear the apartment door opening and the mother is standing in front of us all in the living room. A young woman and three guys, all naked having sex. Apparently she didn't know that her son also likes men ... Most embarrassing moment of my life!
February 16, 2017, 11:20 am
I started a little on / off affair with a new tenant in my flat share in Hamburg - without really understanding why she fell in love with me. The sex was okay, but actually we didn't harmonize that much. After little contact, longer breaks and now finished her studies, years later she came back to Hamburg (I'm 37 now, she is in her late 20s), I booked a noble hotel room with a view of the Elbe. She was five months pregnant by her guy, but apparently that wasn't that great. In any case, things went really well, we had a lot of fun. At one point I wondered how damp it was - a look down revealed a really large pale pool of blood. Creepy. She was in no pain, nothing, but a lot of blood on the hotel sheet. I then ordered a taxi for us through reception (since she was in no pain, everything was fine with the child, hence a taxi), we got dressed, packed our mother's passport and went down. I told the lady at the front desk (it was three o'clock in the morning) that I had to go to the hospital with my pregnant friend and that she should change the bed linen, but not be frightened, as there was a large amount of blood there. The looks were unique. The taxi ride was characterized by reassuring persuasions to the woman ("if it were something, you would feel that, only a little vein will have burst" et cetera), without me believing that myself.
Then hectic activity in the hospital, Zack, I stood next to her during the ultrasound and looked at another man's child, for whom the doctor congratulated me and said that everything was perfectly fine. The doctor then said that the bleeding was simply a small burst blood vessel, as this would be more plump during pregnancy and something like that can happen. The whole thing ended in relief and a somewhat misplaced compliment: If the man is so well built, something like this could happen and we should try other positions.
02/16/17, 11:35 am
Had sex on a park bench in the field. Usually no cars drive by there - but this is different on this evening. We are right in the middle, suddenly bright light. Fortunately, the car drives by with a short honk. Later that evening I met a buddy who told me he caught two having sex on the park bench in the field - could have been my brother, my him. I just: could.
02/16/17, 11:58 am
At that time I met a cool guy while going out, he broke up with his girlfriend shortly afterwards and we started something casual. We were at his house and had sex in the morning. I was lying naked in his bed and he was smoking by the window when the family dog came into the room to greet us. Because I like dogs very much, I petted him from the bed and then fell back in ecstasy ... Until the guy at the window started laughing: “Haha! The dog is just eating your panties! "
Sure, I didn't get what the stupid joke was about at first, look over at the dog and fall out of the clouds! The cute family dog is sitting down in the room and my black Hello Kitty panties are hanging out of his snout. Of course I didn't want to get out of bed naked, the guy just thought it was funny, didn't want to do anything and the dog didn't make any move to do anything. Then the father came past the room, who was already looking for the dog, first introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I tried to cover as much as possible and not die right away.
The father recognizes the situation, thinks it is funny and tries to pull the panties out of the dog. It does not work. The mother is attracted by the noise and introduces herself to me while I am still lying naked in bed. When I thought it couldn't be more embarrassing, his sister came into the room to see where the parents were ... So I got to know the whole family in one fell swoop and the dog still hasn't come out with his panties.
When you then held a treat in front of his nose, he finally let it go! Sounds made up, but it's a true story that my friends still have great fun!
02/16/17, 1:00 p.m.
We had celebrated my friend's birthday in her parents' party room and had a lot of drinks. As a result, we got totally in heat and said goodbye to the guest bathroom to get down to business there. As soon as the door is closed, it jumps at me, I lose my balance and together we fall on the sink. It takes a beating, the sink breaks off and the water pipe has also been damaged, it runs like a torrent. While I almost get wet with laughter, she panics and starts crying. Of course, neither of us knows where to turn off the water, so she has to wake her parents. While she and her mother discuss how this happened, her father and I look at each other. He grins, I grin, he looks at his daughter, I nod, he laughs. Until today I couldn't top it.
02/16/17, 1:48 p.m.
On our first love vacation in Portugal, we had sex every day. We did it up to eight times everywhere and really tried a lot. One evening we were there for once in the hotel room, she was just below me and my movements got faster and faster when I noticed that she began to snore quietly but audibly. She woke up from my loud laughter and shortly afterwards we fell asleep together.
02/16/17, 2:06 pm
First friend, both of us sharp and inexperienced. After sex, she asked where I actually put the tampon? - tampon? Oops, crap! Even while geocaching, I never looked so long and so deep ...
02/16/17, 2:31 pm
I was 16 and he was 18. We were watching some movie in my room at my parents' house. We almost never managed to see one in its entirety - we always had "something" in between. We had sex with a change of position or two. When we were about to get dressed again, we noticed a huge stain of blood on the sheet. "Did you get your days?" He asked. I was sure it wasn't, but as a precaution I washed again in the bathroom and checked. It turned out that his foreskin was torn. A few years later we met again for sex. He told me that he got circumcised because his foreskin kept tearing while having sex or masturbating.
02/16/17, 2:47 pm
Me with girlfriend, both 18 years old, in the forest in the car. Reclining seat is down. We are right in the middle. Chirping birds. Suddenly, just a few centimeters from our ears, a menacing male voice. A two-part scream, moving apart, panting glances with palpitations. What happened? I accidentally turned on the radio with my big toe.
02/16/17, 2:52 pm
Lube confused with hand cream. But we only noticed when the light was on again :)
02/16/17, 3:14 pm
Newly in love students we were hot for each other while strolling through the city. We spontaneously went to the bottom floor of an underground car park and drove it standing there. We only noticed the surveillance cameras when we were getting dressed. We then took an exit where the security service would not see us in person ...
February 16, 2017, 3:17 pm
Storm free with their parents. The video evening for two ended with wild sex on the sofa. While getting dressed, I noticed that she had just got her days and that we first had to save the sofa before we could go on in bed.
02/16/17, 5:27 pm
I was at a festival last summer and there was a new guy in our group who I thought was pretty hot. We got along better and better and then on the last night of the festival we finally got down to business. The romance turned into a nightmare when I, hacking and horny, told him that the tampon could just stay in there. Does not matter. I estimated the size of his penis ‘so that there was no danger of pushing the tampon too high. Unfortunately, I had underestimated all of this and after sex the crap went off: tampon gone, string in, my fingers not long enough ... After half an hour in vain fingering around on a shitty toilet with a mobile phone flashlight in me, I gave up and back In the tent (his) I tried to get hold of the thing with the handle of two tablespoons. That didn't work either, and finally I passed the problem on to him with a stick sticking out of me and my nerves pitted. Fortunately, he wanted to become a doctor earlier and got the OB out of me with courageous, calm commitment. Long fingers were our salvation. We still got on well, but it wasn't more than a two-night stand.
February 16, 2017, 8:29 pm
I was 16 at the time and spent a weekend with my girlfriend at the time because her parents weren't there. With my head between her legs, I suddenly felt a weight on my back - her cat, who climbed onto my shoulder with great interest, leaned down and sniffed my friend's vagina, then immediately jumped down and left the room. My laughter was resented a little
February 16, 2017, 8:31 pm
He thought he was inside me, in fact he fucked me between the thighs and the sheets.
February 16, 2017, 9:02 pm
For a while I was always in Frankfurt during the week as a consultant in a large bank, at that time people liked to go to the Euro Deli for afterwork. Taken a beautiful woman into the hotel, had incredibly bad sex, and then asked her to leave. No money for your taxi, you will still be sent, give me your number. Forgotten that, of course, when a few weeks later I was with business friends at Surf ’n Turf, she suddenly stood at the table and asked for the taxi money ... it was just horrible ...
February 16, 2017, 9:14 pm
Since his room was apparently the social center of the family home, family members kept coming in, but we could no longer hold each other, so we decided to leave the house. In the evening. In late autumn. Less than three minutes later we had sex in the middle of the dirt road ... Unfortunately, the imprints of stones of all sizes on my butt did not go away the next day either ...
02/17/17, 1:21 am
If the man says "without teeth" while blowing, then the ego is down very quickly ... was not on purpose ...
02/17/17, 01:59 am
We were in an occupied house in a room that was primarily intended as a "love base" and we were there so intensely that we didn't notice anything else. But only until the cops got to the room with the evacuation ...
02/18/17, 9:30 a.m.
I am with a man. I can imagine having offspring with him. And I'm happy to be with him. We are both at an age where the issue of youngsters has come to the fore. We no longer use contraception and let it depend on it. However, sex doesn't work that way. We currently have irregular sex. While we were in a long distance relationship, we had sex more often (weekly). If we have sex, I would like to sleep with him more often, but only works once. Our “energy reservoir” is different and I have the feeling that for him sex is not always “relaxation and fun”, but “exhausting”, which is why he sometimes refuses. We had sex once and he was so exhausted from the day that his penis inside me was slack and he no longer had the strength to thrust. Then we stopped and within a few seconds he fell asleep. It wasn't that bad and the desire is still there. Just somehow reduced. I quietly wonder how it will work with “having offspring”. I hope it's a phase that will pass and we will get there.
02/18/17, 10:49 pm
We met through Tinder and agreed to meet directly for the same evening. He was 23 and I was 35. He said he was very dominant and would show me where to go. I was looking forward to it because I really like dominant men. He came to me in the evening. When he came in the door, I already noticed how nervous he was. We sat on the couch. Then he kissed me directly. He was 1.95 m, well built and tattooed. He then carried me to bed. I bit his lip while riding him. He's completely shocked and almost crying. Hey, that must have hurt. Then he broke off and said that was nothing for him. He feels used. He got dressed and left. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Today I laugh about it with my girlfriend.
02/19/17, 01:59 am
My first boyfriend at 16, neither me nor he particularly experienced. Somehow he doesn't get any up, but he wants to make me cum by licking. So he disappears with his head between my legs. After a short while he jumps up and runs into the bathroom. I got my days while he was licking me. After he came back, I disappeared into the bathroom and came back, there was an embarrassing silence. We never said a word about it during puberty. About two years later, after we had been separated for almost a year, his prom. We ended up at his home again, despite numerous warnings from my friends. After about a quarter of an hour and the worst sex of my life and the request to please sleep on the sofa, I asked about the first train to my hometown and drove home.
02/19/17, 8:33 am
I was 20 at the time, she was 18. We'd been together for a while, but we both still lived with our parents.
When we were with her again and were just about it, the bed collapsed, which you could hear all over the house. The next morning we were having breakfast with her mother and her mother asked if we had tried to fix the bed. She probably misinterpreted the knocking noise. Then I screwed the bed back together with her father (with heaps of Spax and angle plates). He was just saying, don't drive it that hard for the next time, then it'll last until the new bed is there.
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