Should I go out with a younger woman?
Women over 40: what will be different? And what better?
There is this immediate fear that after 40 you will no longer be attractive and interesting. That one becomes the invisible one that no one consciously perceives anymore. That you are no longer the first choice on the job market. That men of the same age increasingly have significantly younger girlfriends. And if you have a younger person yourself, you will be viewed critically and - according to the others - have a problem with getting older.
To make matters worse, you can already see yourself approaching menopause on the horizon (even if it is proven that most of us are only heading towards 50). Hello, illusion. Sure, these thoughts are quite normal when the evil 4 is on the march. But we shouldn't hyperventilate right now, please.
Admittedly: What is really sobering is not just any wrinkles or stupid men, but the fact that the first half of life is purely arithmetic (assuming that a 35-year-old woman today has a life expectancy of around 80 years). And that definitely feels different than when you were in your early 20s, when you thought: Life is infinite and the world is open to me, I just have to decide where to go first.
Unfortunately, this is a point that cannot be shaken. Much else is purely a matter of attitude. You shouldn't let yourself be influenced by the youth craze of society, you have to clear your head and see clearly.
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Make it clear to yourself: you have achieved a lot
The times when the most important decisions were made regarding education, family, children and career slowly come to an end at 40. But that doesn't have to be bad. After all, you've already achieved a lot in life that you can be proud of. Nevertheless, there is somehow the question in the room: What's next? Does everything stay as it is now?
But that's exactly what should start a fire under your bum. Because even if all these critical thoughts are understandable (and also important), one should not exaggerate with one's frustrated view of the 40. There are really many things that are really good about 40.
Women over 40: goodbye, self-doubt!
Let's take off our negative glasses for a moment! Women at 40 are not in the much dreaded midlife crisis. Most of us had it before, around our mid-30s. All the self-doubts, the insecurity, the search - that's exactly what a woman at 40 has behind you. Women over 40 usually know what they want, have both feet firmly on the ground, are self-confident and trust in their strengths. God knows it was different in my early / mid-twenties.
In addition, the children, if you have any, are out of the woods. You have already gained a lot of experience in terms of your career and have found your way. You have already achieved a lot in life and can now really start again. Wouldn't it be stupid to just carry on until retirement, wouldn't it?
Life leaves its mark: So what?
Of course there is the aging process. Life leaves its mark. And that's good. Because that shows that we have also experienced something. Of course, nobody has to find wrinkles great now. But wrinkles that show that you've laughed a lot in the past few years are actually absolutely okay.
There were times when the skin looked significantly firmer and fresher. And even a drinking evening with friends is rather slower over 40. In other words: You need two days to be on deck again, unlike in the past, when the next day you looked like life in bloom again. But hey: there are worse things. Those who can celebrate can also survive Olympic dark circles!
Reading tip:Nice through the menopause: how does the skin change?
Young professional? Age-appropriate? Just be you
What sucks about the 40: The awkward compliments. Because from your mid-30s, compliments just sound different. This is where the little word "still" comes into play. And the addition "for your age". You still look really good for your age ... Those who wanted to say something nice may not be aware of that, but it would be really nicer to just leave out this "still".
Suddenly there are also these strange sayings: 30 is the new 20. 40 is the new 30 etc. Do you want to gloss over our aging by simply bypassing the number 40? And there is no point in celebrating your 39th forever.
And then there is the little word "age-appropriate". Also a really bad box. Some time ago there was a wild discussion on the net about whether a man over 40 on a skateboard was an embarrassing professional youth or just being casual. And whether there is a maximum age for shorts, mini skirts and baggy pants. A woman over 30 in a jeans mini - is that really allowed?
Get older in a deeply relaxed manner
There is only one thing to say about this: Imagine a grandma with cozy sneakers, jeans and a biker jacket. What a nice picture, right? So wouldn't it be much more correct that not only fat and thin people are open to their bodies in the sense of the body-positive movement, but also old people? Body positive also means that people are beautiful and wonderful regardless of their age, not just regardless of their size.
So what should be wrong with wearing shorts as a woman at 40 or 50? Because the skin is no longer so tight, but is more and more wrinkled? Yes and? The man in his mid-20s doesn't ask me whether I think his hairy legs are beautiful or not. Who decides what is age-appropriate and what is not? Anyone who starts to dress "age-appropriately" at the age of 40 will end up walking around half of their life somehow "concealed". Please do not!
Also read: I beg your pardon?! From THIS age, women should avoid skinny jeans, tattoos and long hair
Yes, that too: better sex!
Something that women over 40 are very happy to admit is a mega good sex life. People like to say that women over 40 know exactly what they want in bed and how to get it. That they are self-confident and experienced and have the sex of their lives right at this time. Nice and good. Might be. But it would be good if a woman in her forties (and afterwards also) could not only be sexy and hot behind closed doors, but also on the street, on television and in advertising.
Unfortunately - as reality shows - very few women in advertising are older than their late twenties. Actresses, too, only get maternal roles after a certain age. A leading role in a hip Hollywood romance comedy would hardly be cast with a 40 plus woman. (And the few exceptions are not what we mean by rethinking either!)
Video: Menopause - where is the desire for love?Video from the editorial team
Invisible woman? Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that!
"Am I invisible to men from now on, and only interesting as a MILF?" No. Of course not. At least not if we don't think exactly that about ourselves and thus also radiate. If we like ourselves and find ourselves good, then that also has an impact on our encounters in life. You are as young as you feel - there is indeed something to this old saying.
Reading tip:Old man, young woman: why is it like that and who is actually looking for whom here?
Of course, there is this moment when you stand in the dark club late in the evening and the guy next to you is chatting to you. Apparently the light is good, so that you smile to yourself and think: "Honey, open your eyes! I could be your mother!" For a very short time you feel like a sham. Many women at 40 just look younger. But that's not our problem in the end.
And not every man gives his wife back to the cash register at the age of 40 in order to get a partner who is half her age. This is a fear that many women have, but it is unfounded. If you stay young in your head, you will also be a great life partner. Only frustration, resignation and stagnation make us old. Not the 4 in front.
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